You know you've been in China too long when...

Hittade nedanstående lista på en viss ansiktsbok alldeles nyss och tyckte den var så otroligt rolig att jag måste dela med mig lite! Det roliga är att det mesta är så otroligt sant, om än ibland lite överdrivet. Har man levt här ett tag kan man nog relatera till det mesta. Kanske är det inte lika kul för er, men ändå... Den säger hur som helst en del om det Peking jag lever i.

Listan är väldigt lång, 1-367, så jag plockade ut de jag tyckte var roligast, mest sant eller som jag relaterar mest till.

You know you've been in China too long when...

9. You enjoy karaoke.
10. You walk backwards in the park listening to a transistor radio.
11. The China Daily is your source for hard hitting, fast breaking, investigative journalism.
17. All white people look the same to you.
19. Open spaces make you nervous.
20. You find state-employed retail staff helpful, knowledgeable and friendly.
21. People with bright white teeth look frightening to you.
22. You no longer need tissues to blow your nose.
23. Other foreigners seem foreign to you.
24. You find yourself exiting a major highway...on your bike.
28. Any discomfort causes you to think there might be something wrong with your 'Qi'.
29. Your body no longer accepts dairy products.
30. You draw characters on your hand to make yourself understood.
31. You ask people in what animal year they were born.
34. Squatting becomes your favourite position, anytime, anywhere.
35. You think a 30 year old woman who carries a Hello Kitty lunch box is cute.
36. You can't put a proper sentence together in your native language.
40. Your building's security guard is 4 times older than the building itself.
41. It's OK to throw rubbish, including old fridges, from your 18th-floor window.
43. You believe that pressing the lift button 63 times will make it move faster.
45. You know it is useless to protest when the lady at the supermarket check-out wraps one toothbrush in 6 plastic bags.
47. You aren't aware that one is supposed to pay for software.
62. You believe that the cure for all ailments is to drink more water.
74. You are no longer flinching every few seconds in a Taxi ride.
97. You have a pet bird...which you walk
106. You stop at the top or bottom of an escalator to plan your day.
107. It becomes exciting to see if you can get on the lift before anyone can get off.
113. You find that it saves time to stand and retrieve your hand luggage while the plane is on final approach.
116. You believe everything you read in the local newspaper.
118. You have developed an uncontrollable urge to follow people carrying small flags. (refererar till kinesiska turistgrupper, vilka alltid leds av en turistguide med flagga och mikrofon på alldeles för hög volym)
123. You are not surprised when three men with a ladder show up to change a light bulb.
135. When shopping at Carrefour some laowai (västerlänning) stares you down for catching you looking into his basket while you wonder to yourself what laowai's eat.
146. In a meeting you say everything will be 'wonderful' and give no details.
147. You forget that the other person needs to finish speaking before you can start.
150. You start to watch CCTV9 and feel warm and comforted by the governments great work.
184. You start cutting off large vehicles on your bicycle.
195. You go to the local shop in pajamas.
209. You stop wearing long thermal underwear on May 1st no matter what the temperature is.
216. When you think it's alright to stick your head into a stranger's apartment to see if anybody's home.
225. Looking at a dog makes you hungry.
252. It has been at least 18 months since you used the word "tacky" to describe anything.
267. You don't recognize a bowl of chicken soup unless there are feet and a head in it.
285. Drilling on the walls in the wee small hours in the morning is
considered acceptable behavior.
286. You get offended when people admire your chopsticks skills.
287. You compiled a 3-page list of weird English first names that Chinese people of your acquaintance have chosen for themselves.
288. Your collection of business cards has outgrown your flat.
291. You and a friend get on a bus, sit at opposite ends of the bus, and continue your conversation by yelling from one end to the other.
295. You cannot say "Call me." without making a pretend phone with your fingers and sticking to your ear.
305. You don't blink an eye when a complete stranger wants to take a photo of you with his family.
306. You eat soup with chopsticks.
309. You are accustomed to seeing people's heads popping up and down in the VCD you are watching.
315. The smell of "stinky Tofu" doesn't faze you anymore.
318. You can open and hull sunflower seeds with your tongue.
321. You have ten different responses to the question, "Do you like China?"
328. You call home and your family tell you to speak faster and stop correcting their grammar and pronunciation.
330. You eat cake with chopsticks.
333. You answer 'Into what?' when people say China is developing.
334. You convince yourself that it doesn't matter how dirty the cooks' hands are, cooking will fix it.
348. Everyone wants to be your friend - all you have to do is teach them English for free.
349. Everyone wants to teach you Chinese by speaking to you in English.
350. Your Chinese lessons consist of 50 words your teacher wants to know the English meaning of.
354. Groups of people find it fascinating to watch you buy an orange at a fruit market. Commentary is provided in case some people don't know exactly what's going on.
355. You have no qualms that someone who thinks you're stupid and gullible has total control over your life.
366. You no longer expect the truth.
367. You can use "face" as a weapon.